What Can Stepfamilies Do to Be Successful? stepfamily
6 Tips for What Can Stepfamilies Do to Be Successful? stepfamily
Anyone who is or has been part of a stepfamily can agree that it is both rewarding and challenging.
When a couple with children join as a family, not only do they need to find the right fit in a partner, but they also need to find the right fit for each and every member of the family.
Because there will be so many new individual relationships that grow from a union where children are involved, it is important to have some guidelines as to how you are going to encourage positive family dynamics.
There are a few things you can do that will better your chance of making your stepfamily a positive experience for everyone involved.
1. Be Honest and Open:
- Although being discreet and kind can go a long way, there also needs to be a safe way for children in a stepfamily to voice their concerns and frustrations.
- Sometimes children can feel like they are out of control in the situation, since they do not choose their parents new partner or their new family.
- Give each child time to speak with you about what they are not happy about, and be sure to respond in a way that encourages them to talk more.
2. Be Fair:
A positive stepfamily is one where all children are treated fairly. Although it is a challenge to blend the rules and habits of two households, it is essential that you find a way to make it all work together.
If the children of one parent have a limit on junk food or particular movies, for example, it will be much easier to enforce when everyone has the same rules.
3. Spend Individual Time with One Another:
It is easy to get swept up in a romantic relationship and make it the focus:
For the sake of your children, however, it is important that each adult spend one-on-one time with each child in order to develop meaningful relationships. It can be as simple as playing basketball together, or a trip to the ice cream store.
Also, each original family should not be discouraged from spending time alone every once in awhile:
While it is good to assimilate families as much as possible, it is also important for a child to keep their relationship with their original parent and siblings. Make time every now and then to do something as a small group.
4. Respect One Another:
Every stepfamily must have respect in order to thrive:
This needs to be followed by adults and children alike. Make a rule that respect is non-negotiable, and that each family member should proactively look for ways to show it to others.
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5. Understand Emotions:
Know that there are going to be emotions, and lots of them
- Sometimes it may feel like nothing but a huge whirlwind of emotions that is never going to calm down.
- Show understanding to everyone involved, especially the children.
- If a child is raging and full of anger, understand that he (or she) may simply be feeling sad about the family he once had and may be mourning the loss.
- Know that for every outward emotion, it may represent several more that are lying beneath the surface.
Above all,
- be patient. Creating a successful stepfamily takes a lot of work. It may often seem like the proverbial one step forward, two steps back.î Keep on trying no matter how tough it gets.
- Be diligent and you will be rewarded with the fruit of your labor, which manifests someday as the functional, beautiful stepfamily you now dream about.
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